An Adventure in Neuro-Zoology

Something my therapist said this week made me think of platypuses.

As everybody knows, if you take the platypus out of its native Australian waters for long enough, it can be reduced to two fundamental components – the duck, and the beaver.

The Beaver of Half-Truths is balanced by the Duck of Optimism. Both are at odds with the Platypus of Reason, and all three exist inside my head… Metaphorically speaking. The Beaver of Half-Truths is very much the devil in this dichotomous relationship. The Duck of Optimism, on the other hand, is said to possess the knowledge to end all misery in the multiverse, as well as the recipe for a ruddy good loaf of bread. Unfortunately, it is usually only able to muster a "Quack" out loud, which is of limited use to me in the vast majority of situations.

Anyway, the thing my therapist said this week that made me think of platypuses was this:

“You are very convincing.”

She was referring to the fact that I can easily portray myself as somebody who is not mental. I can blag my way through a therapy session, articulating emotions that I think somebody in my position should be feeling. It's not deliberate. I even convince myself sometimes. It's as if the Platypus of Reason - the logical voice in my head that I know, deep down, to be correct - takes complete control of my speech.

Meanwhile, in the depths of my zoological psyche, the Beaver of Half-Truths remains censored. 

Censoring is problematic, as it's hard to argue with something if it isn't verbalised. Consequently, the Beaver of Half-Truths remains unchallenged, free to roam the Damned Dams of my mind. I went into therapy with the goal of amplifying my rational thoughts, but it's become apparent that listening to the Platypus of Reason is pointless unless I first acknowledge the irrational thoughts I'm attempting to counter. And to accomplish this I need to scour my neuro-streams, find the Beaver of Half-Truths and give it a good telling off.

Incidentally, I mentioned earlier that the Duck of Optimism is useless in the vast majority of situations. There is one obvious exception to this. In a pub quiz where the question is “Complete the name of this well-known illicit substance, pronounced in the style of Jonathon Ross, ‘____ Cocaine’”, the Duck of Optimism becomes very useful indeed. In fact, the Duck of Optimism aces these sorts of situations.

Quack,

BT x