An Adventure in Change

I don't do change. 

I do organisation. I do rules. I do plans.

Unknowns are the enemy, and preparation is my friend.

If I don't keep account of every variable in my life, it feels as though anything could happen.

This is what one psychiatrist referred to in my notes as "rigidity of thinking". (Although she may not be the most reliable source of information. In the very same notes, after being treated to a ninety minute interrogation, I was consistently referred to by the wrong name...) Rigidity of thinking is a common trait in those with Anorexia, and associated mental health problems - and it's a nightmare to live with.

Today, I was told that my "weekend" leave from hospital had to be extended for at least another 72 hours, due to infection. This is at least 24 hours after I had hoped to be discharged. This is obviously nobody's fault, but it's completely thrown me. I don't know what is going to happen with my treatment, whether I'll have the chance to say goodbye to staff and patients or, most importantly, when I'll be able to collect my knitting.

Whatever the outcome is now, my carefully placed safety net has been removed and I have to try my best to cope with the consequences. 

Wish me luck.

Yours in uncertainty,

BT x